Losing Myself in Burbank

It all started with wanting to start dating. After my divorce I didn't date because with four kids to support I didn't have much time to spare on another human being. And men do take up a lot of time. Then Mary Etta got sick and you all know how that turned out. Emotionally I didn't want a man. I was struggling to maintain my sanity and that it is still a questionable state. I dated a bit when the kids were grown but with dismal success.

But now my kids are grown and I finally think I am ready for some fun. About time at 62 huh? Well I had my first date after a couple of weeks of emailing and calling and he turned out to be very nice and a lot of fun. But at 270 pounds it was hard to keep up. Yes I have put my weight out there. And there is a reason for that. I want to be accountable to myself for my weight and my weight loss. So I am putting it on my blog. I am a visual person and writing it and reading it is my way of expressing my desire to be successful in reaching my goal. I want to look at food as sustenance rather then an occupation. I want my body to be able to keep up with other bodies and I want to see my granddaughters as grown up women. And I don't want to be feeble in a nursing home in a wheel chair drooling.

At 62 I have started thinking about how the rest of my life will be or how long it will be. If I am lucky maybe twenty more year. I look back on twenty years of my life and a lot happened on those twenty years. Which means a lot more can happen in the next twenty. Do I want to spend them sitting in the bleachers enjoying my life through my kids and grandchildren or do I want to walk up to home plate and come out swinging? (sorry for the sports analogy blame it my sons) .

I want to live my life. I want to have the energy to dance. I love to dance but I couldn't last five minutes now. I used to be able to dance the night away. I want some old codger to think I am better then sliced bread. And I want to be able watch my boys go through the torment of having teenage daughters. Now if that isn't motivation enough I don't know what is.

So I have started this blog to talk about the journey I am beginning. I am going to try to record from start to finished how I am going to reach my goal of being a healthier lighter weight person. And maybe somewhere along the journey I will meet someone to share the rest of my life with. Or at least meet someone to have some fun with.

I am not going to try to figure out how I got in this shape. I am sure that would take a life time of analysis and at 62 I don't care how I got this way. I want to figure how not be this way. And I am not going to pay for it in analysis, or pay for it in a weight loss program or by using any diet aids. I am going to do it the old fashion way by cutting down on my food intake and selecting foods that are useful for my body. And I have started walking. I am going to walk and blog my way into becoming healthier.

Being over weight most of my life I have noticed a basic difference between thin people and overweight people. Thin people don't think about food twenty four - seven. They actually may forget to eat and miss a meal. Miss a meal....forget to eat? That never happens with me. As I am eating one meal I am thinking about the next meal or snack. It sometimes seems the day is just one long snack.

So I am taking back my body and I am going to nurture it and care for it and once I have learned to do that maybe I will share it with some one. Woooeeee!

Day 1 9/30/08 270 lbs walked 1 mile
Day 2 10/1/08 walked 1.4 miles
Day 3 10/2/08 walked 2 miles yea!!!
Day 4 10/3/08 walked 2 miles
Day 5 10/3/08 walked 2 miles
Day 6 10/3/08 265 lbs walked 2 miles Yea!!!!

Love to you and yours,
NanaCarol